Susan stood by the lake in Windermere, trying to imbibe the peace she wanted to feel. Michael had suggested they go to the lake for the weekend, help her to heal. Even with months since the accident, she was still a wreck. Of course, she had made some strides. She was able to function again, work full days instead of half, be somewhat normal. But the grief was nearly as strong as at the start, and she thought a weekend away a good idea.
But even in the serenity of nature, she still was filled with questions. Why had the accident had to take her bright, loving sister, with so much hope brimming? Her strong and valiant oldest brother, or her loyal and fair younger brother? Why not her, with all her cynicism and sarcasm? Surely this world didn’t need her more than her siblings, who all had so much to offer. They were in the prime of youth, too, and could have added so much to society.
She didn’t feel like she belonged, and she honestly felt she could just lay down in the lake and let it take her, let her rest away from all this pain.
But then, a strong arm went around her, and she remembered that she wasn’t alone. Someone saw her true worth, in spite of her mistakes, and it would kill him if she was gone, if she made the choice to leave life behind. He would probably feel guilty, even if he shouldn’t. He was as brave as Peter in his own way. And besides, she needed to live up to the legacy her brothers and sister had left behind, make a difference for their sakes. It would be an uphill path, but she would do it.
“For Narnia.” She whispered as she looked at the ripples on the lake from the pebble she had thrown.
“Sorry, what was that, Su?” Michael asked. “I just asked if you would go out with me?”
He looked confused, understandably. He didn’t know anything about that other world, and she didn’t feel like she could tell him. Not yet.
“Nothing, Michael. I would be delighted to be your girlfriend. Of course, we’ll have to clear it with my uncle…”
“Already done.” He grinned self-consciously.
As she leaned into him and looked back at the lake, she felt some of that elusive peace she had been looking for. She wasn’t alright, not by a long-shot- but it was a beginning.
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